0000009435 00000 n Asperger syndrome no longer exists as a discrete diagnosis. Asperger’s Syndrome seriously affects the sexual intimacy and life in the relationship and often causes great emotional pain for the neurotypical (NT) partner. Eva Mendes, LMHC, NCC, is a widely recognized couples’ counselor working with couples where one or both partners have Asperger syndrome and are on the autism spectrum (diagnosed or undiagnosed). Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) By Eva A. Mendes. h�Ԗmo�0ǿʽ����ؑ*�B�JE+Z�v�E��t��|v�&�чu/*��l���K��!� C���AJ� �̈� c`AQ`��8����Wy1٦s���8n�]2�7��K��̜19�r��(�s\��.�d|6 �~,g����^���얙�u���M *f����. 0000003565 00000 n 0000004946 00000 n The following are some basic Asperger’s marriage advice you need to keep in mind in order to save your relationship with Asperger’s. 0000001316 00000 n While statistics regarding Asperger’s Syndrome and divorce are sparse, author Ashley Stanford states in her book Asperger Syndrome and Long Term Relationships that, “preliminary research performed in Holland suggests that the divorce rate for couples in which one partner has AS may be as high as 80%.” Although Asperger’s is considered a “high functioning” form of autism, the associated deficiencies make it difficult for someone with the disorder to cultivate a successful marriage. 3) Learn how pervasive the impact of Aspergers Syndrome is in the couple relationship. What makes this book so helpful — what makes it stand apart — is her ability to elucidate the realities of both partners in a neurodiverse relationship… 57 0 obj <> endobj 73 0 obj <>/Filter/FlateDecode/ID[<237B78E0B6FF7CB704F4083B7E56C33C><7CC805B1D73E4BD3A8F82CF017EB26D7>]/Index[57 26]/Info 56 0 R/Length 90/Prev 266918/Root 58 0 R/Size 83/Type/XRef/W[1 3 1]>>stream In our intensive couples therapy intake process, we sometimes hear about long-term relationships with a partner who was never diagnosed with Asperger’s. 0000013735 00000 n 0000004038 00000 n This book is an honest account of what my life has been like with my AS husband and how his Asperger's has affected our marriage. After you’re done, we can get back to talking about Asperger’s Syndrome and marriage specifically. How Asperger’s Syndrome Impacts Relationships. Marriage and Lasting Relationships With Asperger's Syndrome book. h�bbd```b``�"�A$���"ٛA$�20�L�����]0Y&3A$�$9�>�d����O�``�rl2#Q���? With or without a diagnosis, however, it can be difficult to manage marriage to a person who has a hard time with social skills, interpersonal communication, empathetic understanding, or flexibility of thought. In Greek mythology, the God Apollo bestowed upon … xref 0000007399 00000 n EC Neurology 7.5 (2017): 227-237. 75 51 Trouble communicating and a lack of empathy are among the top reasons why someone may find an Asperger’s marriage challenging. This book aims to help the spouses or partners who are married to or in a long term relationship with someone diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome or more likely, suspected Asperger's Syndrome (AS). 0000001989 00000 n Here are some of my favorite quotes from Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome and my reflections on it! 0000013394 00000 n h�b```f``�b`a`0ed@ A�rl ��p31||�w �c {�1�#���n�N�3��sOj���g�����PƯ�8:8::�$� Q0�2h���t ���- �i�y�Ol�lZlfl�l�X�rޛ�3=CZ0���N��E��$ �0 yj9y endstream endobj 58 0 obj <> endobj 59 0 obj <> endobj 60 0 obj <>stream Obstacles will exist as in any relationship, and the more efforts you make to understand your partner, the more successful you can be in maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship with them. 228 Marriage with Asperger’s Syndrome: 14 Practical Strategies Citation: Eva Mendes.“Marriage with Asperger’s Syndrome: 14 Practical Strategies”. 0000169678 00000 n 0000007916 00000 n 0000018792 00000 n 0000074112 00000 n Being in a relationship with someone who has Asperger’s syndrome is no different. 0000006431 00000 n 0000174169 00000 n 0000005345 00000 n She also specializes in counseling adults with ADHD and related neurological profiles. An Asperger’s Syndrome/ Neuro Typical Marriage. Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, OCD, and ADHD: A different condition can diagnose one’s ASD. 0000143629 00000 n trailer Today, people with the symptoms of Aspergers receive an autism spectrum diagnosis -- assuming they choose to seek a diagnosis at all. They just want you to listen to them. Give​ Up​ ​Control: Would You Rather​ Be​ ​Married​ ​Than​ ​Right? Cassandra Phenomenon (CP) So you must listen to whatever they want to say. 0000002087 00000 n Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): Successful Strategies for Couples or Counselors eBook: Mendes, Eva A., Shore, Stephen M.: Amazon.ca: Kindle Store 0000173883 00000 n startxref 0 0000009547 00000 n 0000174535 00000 n Read 16 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Asperger’s Syndrome sufferers are capable of love and want to be loved as much as NTs do, some go on to sustain long term relationships and marriages, some don’t. Author Eva Mendes knows, really knows, what ASD is all about, how it can bewilder, irritate or even collapse a relationship. Revised 1/26/21. Author Eva Mendes knows, really knows, what ASD is all about, how it can bewilder, irritate or even collapse a relationship. Asperger Syndrome (also called Asperger Disorder) is a relatively new category of developmental disorder, the term having only come into more general use over the past fifteen years. I am borrowing the ideas for this article from Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome (2005), and specifically to psychologist Dr. Juanita P. Lovett's chapter on How Marriage … These are common feelings in couples where one or both spouses have Asperger’s. 0000152357 00000 n Cassandra Syndrome and Emotional Deprivation Disorder. x�b```b``mc`c`�� Ā B@1v�`��b�b�kxV1?p��,���ЛA�wH���3S�3;��HX(25�8d46��tp�G�b���6r�. Be aware of what diagnoses may come with ASD, and when exploring them, consider ASD as the underlying condition. %PDF-1.3 %���� 0000012882 00000 n AS, in this article I will often speak of “the wife” (understood to be NT) and “the husband” (understood to have AS). 0000002985 00000 n %PDF-1.4 %���� 0000000016 00000 n Marisa, there is controversy now about not classifying Asperger's as a separate disorder and doing away with the name Asperger's Syndrome, but some of the mental health communnity has balked at that. ... hoping to find some way to a better marriage. 1. Therefore, Asperger's Syndrome is called a Relationship Disorder. 0000014199 00000 n The reason is simple. 0000004305 00000 n 0000161318 00000 n syndrome, which affects spouses, children and siblings of individuals who have social disorders such as Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) and high functioning autism (Hfa). 0000014988 00000 n An Asperger Marriage: Moving Beyond Despair. 0000010507 00000 n Almost no one in my life knows, including my parents. Author Eva Mendes knows, really knows, what ASD is all about, … 0000012479 00000 n Lonely, hurt, angry, sad, misunderstood, isolated, desperate. 0000008883 00000 n Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is a thorough, finely written, insightful, real-world analysis of neurodiverse interpersonal relationships. ��" endstream endobj startxref 0 %%EOF 82 0 obj <>stream 0000008194 00000 n 0000016769 00000 n 0000002551 00000 n <]>> 0000152021 00000 n [��PF���\g�����3��:�Ed�J�;������i'�t��)5 Q��� [i#�Z�8q��5��~u7�}I���]�_7�:݌'� ��*��n�+ ��t��6K8�L�4�O&�^����qq@��[m��"ۖyA�U��@v�&S�]�~����qs;[O�bW���§�t�_�n�V� 2y�Q���x�V[-��. 0000014714 00000 n Many people with Asperger syndrome are obsessed with … 0000195278 00000 n Rigidity and inflexible thinking can also … And when one partner has Asperger’s syndrome, the relationship can be even more of a challenge. 0000008332 00000 n 0000008357 00000 n If You Like Routines, You’re in for a Treat. In “Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger Syndrome,” Eva Mendes presents proven strategies to help neurodiverse couples in tricky relationships. Marriages (or other intimate relationships) come in all shapes and sizes: They are often disappointing or imperfect, The first Asperger’s marriage advice is to always listen to your spouse, who has Asperger syndrome. 125 0 obj<>stream By September 12, 2018. 2) Gain insight into the experience of the woman in a spouse/partner’s support group. Marriage with Asperger’s Syndrome: 14 Practical Strategies By Eva Mendes, LMHC, NCC Couples’ Counselor and Asperger Syndrome Specialist Many people are aware that a large percentage of American marriages end in divorce. Maxine Aston, a UK specialist Asperger’s relationships counsellor, explains that this Cassandra Affective disorder is like a seasonal affective disorder which is caused by a lack of sunlight, affecting the person with depression, sleep problems, lethargy, overeating, hopelessness, anxiety, tension, a loss of libido and a weakened immune system. Listen to your spouse. How to survive an Asperger marriage? 0000021441 00000 n Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is a thorough, finely written, insightful, real-world analysis of neurodiverse interpersonal relationships. 0000195022 00000 n 0000160881 00000 n Frustration from their neurotypical spouse can lead to a lack of understanding and endless arguments. %%EOF Although a group of children with this clinical picture was originally and very accurately described in the 1940's by a Viennese pediatrician, Hans Asperger, 0000011529 00000 n The viability of an Asperger’s marriage requires several crucial steps. 0000005235 00000 n 0000015507 00000 n 0000004981 00000 n 0000152288 00000 n Misinformation about Relationships and Sex. The Cassandra Syndrome is another effort in the continuing attempt to describe the struggle of the neurotypical partner (NT) who too often can’t get validation from their neurodiverse, (Aspie) partner, extended family, or helping professionals.. 0000017932 00000 n Many people with Asperger’s learn about sex and relationships from pornography and movies. 0000097766 00000 n It takes a lot of work to make a marriage or other long-term relationship a success. In “Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger Syndrome,” Eva Mendes presents proven strategies to help neurodiverse couples in tricky relationships. relationships between a man with AS and a woman without AS. “One of the characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome can be emotional and social immaturity”, Psychologist and Asperger expert Tony Attwood reports. 0000015787 00000 n Due to this, they have an unreal understanding of what is expected from them and may behave in ways that seem odd or weird to their partner. Asperger’s affects a person’s ability to read and understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others. So, as I said, I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but I should point out, I am, with all due humility, extremely high functioning. People with autism … The suggestion is that Asperger's just be called a mild form of autism, but many Aspies aren't happy about that. OTRS is a normal stress reaction to ongoing abnormal interactions within an intimate relationship and family life. 75 0 obj <> endobj Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is a thorough, finely written, insightful, real-world analysis of neurodiverse interpersonal relationships. Presentation by “Emmi of Massachusetts” Family Matters: Insight into Relationships and AS workshop 11-6-2010 Sponsored by FAAAS, Inc. Quote from Dr. Hans Asperger: “Many of those who do marry show tensions and problems in their marriage” (That is really putting it mildly.) 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